


Gone

by ironspydr, UnfortunatelySux



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, M/M, Missing in Action, Sad Michael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 17:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15611109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironspydr/pseuds/ironspydr, https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnfortunatelySux/pseuds/UnfortunatelySux
Summary: Michael doesn't do so well when the squip suddenly takes Jeremy away.





	Gone

Michael had, to say the least, not been doing well since Jeremy went missing. He barely ate, slept even less, and wasn't even playing games anymore. He missed his boyfriend, and wanted him back desperately. 

About a whole week into Jeremy’s case, there was a quiet knock on Michael’s door. 

“Go away,” Michael responded weakly from where he was curled up in bed.

The knocking picked up.

“I said go away!”

A voice came from the other side of the door. “I wanna help!”

“Who is it? I don't want your damn help.”

“It–” The person groaned. “It’s Jake.”

“Fuck off.”

“Rude.”

“I don't want to talk.”

“But I want to help!”

“Do you know where he is?”

There was a silence. “Well, no, but–”

“Then you can't fucking help me.” Michael pulled his blankets over his head to block out the sunlight. He hoped Jake didn't realize his door was already unlocked.

Jake didn’t try the door just yet. “Michael, dude, just talk to me. You know Christine was over here yesterday? She said you completely ignored her. She’s having a hard time too!”

Michael was quiet for a minute. “Look, I'm sorry, but I'm just not in the mood to talk, okay?”

“Then can I just sit with you?”

Michael sighed. “... Door's open.”

Jake turned the knob. “God, dude, you need sunlight.”

Michael sighed heavily. 

Jake came in and drew a curtain. 

Michael groaned. “Why the fuck are you here? I'm sorry I'm not really in the mood to do much right now, but you guys don't have to keep trying this shit, you know?” He hadn't meant to seem so hostile.

Jake wasn’t fazed. “You being all holed in your weird room like this isn’t helping Jeremy,” he said simply. 

Michael felt his eye twitch. “Oh yeah? Well neither does you opening my curtains. Don't fucking use this against me, okay? I know I'm acting stupid but it fucking hurts more than you could ever know. My- He's- My best friend. My only friend, for so long.” Michael whimpered sadly. “Just shut up about it, yeah?”

“You think I don’t understand what you’re feeling? That’s a low blow, homie.”

Michael scoffed. “What?”

“Of course I fucking know how you feel,” Jake spat, his earlier tone gone to give way to an angry, bitter one.

Michael grimaced. “How could you?”

“You forgot?” Jake’s voice was broken, an odd sound for him. 

Michael faltered. “Forgot what?”

“About Rich.”

Michael blinked. “Oh shit,” he muttered. “Fuck, I'm sorry.”

“Yeah whatever.”

Michael winced. “Jake, I– I shouldn't have-” he sighed. “I'm sorry. I just feel so lost. I can't _think_ straight without him.” Michael's fingers clenched in the sheets.

“I know,” Jake whispered. “Just let us help, man.”

Michael shook his head. “How can you?”

“I dunno, take you on a walk? When Jeremy comes back it'll break his heart if you're like this because of him.”

Michael bit his lip hard, his heart panging harshly at the name. “I miss him,” he whispered brokenly. “I j-just want to know if he's _safe_.”

“It's hard.” Jake approached his bed. “We're all worried about him, dude. But I know what you need is the opposite of this.”

Michael gulped. “Yeah. I know.” He stared down at his hands. “I love him so much.”

“I know you do. So take care of yourself for him.”

Michael grimaced, but nodded. “I’ll try to do better with eating.”

Jake tsked. “And shower. And don't lay in here all the time.”

Michael nodded. “Fine.” He probably wouldn't make good on the not laying in bed. He didn't want to go out.

“For Jeremy,” Jake added. 

Michael felt his heart twist painfully again. “Yeah.”

“He needs to come back to a healthy you, bro,” Jake said. “I made the same mistake you are now, and Rich is still upset about it.”

Michael sighed. “ _If_ he comes back,” he murmured under his breath.

“Don’t think like that. It’ll only hurt you both in the long run, dude.”

“It's been a week, Jake. Of absolutely nothing. You got a call from Rich after five days.”

“So my experience isn’t enough for you?”

Michael grimaced. “I didn't say that. I’m just scared, is all.”

“I know you are.”

Michael toyed with the fabric of his bed sheets. “Do you think he's okay out there?”

Jake nodded. “Yeah, dude. I do.”

“You have to say that. You're my friend.” Michael frowned.

“But I believe it!” Jake pulled the blankets away from Michael. “C’mon bro.”

Michael groaned. “I am not putting on pants.”

“Oh c’mon.”

“No.”

“Then put on a skirt?”

“Fuck you.”

“I was serious!”

“Shut up.”

Jake didn’t shut up. “Don’t get an attitude with me, Michael, I could easily win in a fight.”

“Fine, beat me up. I don't give a fuck. I don't want to go out and see all the shit that reminds me of him when I don't even know if he's still alive.”

Jake gave him an empty look. “So you'd rather believe he's dead than be healthy enough to greet him when he shows up alive.”

“Fuck you, Jake.” Michael practically sneered. He clambered out of bed. “I'm going to take a shower. Stay or don't.” He strided off, slamming his door behind him.

Jake simply sighed. 

\------

Michael frowned when he got back and Jake was still there. “Oh, great. You stayed.”

“You gave me a choice didn't you?”

Michael sighed. “I guess.”

Jake shrugged. “Yeah so I’m here to help.”

“Haven't we been over this already?” Michael ran a hand the his damp hair. “I'll try to do better. I get it. You can leave now.”

“But you told me I could stay..?”

“I didn't think you actually would, Jake.”

“Why not? You think I’m not taking this seriously? I know when to be mature, dude, this isn’t junior year.”

Michael took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Right. Not High School.” He dropped down onto the bed numbly. 

“Yeah. Thank god for that, huh? All that pressure?” 

“Yeah,” Michael muttered. “Right. So much easier now.”

“Look,” Jake said. “You know I get it. Everyone else is worried sick too, about Jeremy _and_ you. We all want to help, especially Rich, but he…He’s kinda having problems processing it. He’s still scarred from what happened to him.”

Michael nodded. “Yeah. Does he remember anything? Where it took him? What it made him do?”

Jake hesitated, but shook his head. “Not really. Fragments, sometimes. But he’s still really traumatized.”

Michael bit his lip as he reflexively tugged at his hair to balance out the pain in his heart. “They're never going to be able to live normal happy lives, are they?” He hated it. “God, I wish we could save them from those damned voices in their brains.”

Jake’s demeanor faltered. “Normal? No. Happy? Only if we let them. We have to be there for them and show them we’re strong for them. Which is why you need to eat.”

Michael gulped. “Yeah. You're right. Um, I don't think I can handle going out right now, but I have some leftovers in the fridge. I'll eat those.” He had been trying to eat the leftovers for days, but hadn't been able to get himself up long enough to heat them.

Jake stared at him. “You want me to help?”

Michael was quiet. “Would it be totally pathetic if I said yes?”

“Nah, ‘s why I asked.”

Michael just nodded. “Please?”

Jake stood up. “You want me to warm it up for you?”

Michael nodded again. “It's like the only leftover container in there, you can't miss it.” He gave Jake a weak smile.

Jake returned the smile. “I’ll be back.”

“Thanks.” Michael fell back onto the bed, staring up at the glow in the dark stars scattered across his ceiling. 

\------ 1 Month

Brooke knocked softly on Michael's door. 

“Yeah?” Michael didn't look up from his laptop. 

“It's me!” Brooke called. “Uh, Chloe’s not here, it's just me.”

Michael paused, sighing slightly. He spun his computer chair around to face the door. “Come in.”

Brooke stepped inside with a smile on her face. “Your windows are open,” she observed. 

Michael glanced over at the window. “Yeah. It was kinda stuffy in here.”

Brooke nodded. “Understandable.”

Michael was quiet for a bit. “So, uh, why are you here?”

“To check up?” Brooke offered. “How're you doing?”

Michael shrugged. “Fine, I guess.” He knew they were worried still. Jeremy had been gone for a month. But he had been doing a bit better lately. He'd started eating a bit better, and could get a couple more minutes of sleep in each night before he inevitably woke up alone and crying with no one to call. Which was progress.

“That's good. Want me to take you out? Pink Berry's doing a sale where you get half off if you come in as a couple, wanna try some acting?” Her voice stayed sweet. 

Michael winced. “Ah, sorry I'm not sure I'm up for it. I went out yesterday to get some food, so…” he trailed off. “Maybe next time?”

“Oh..” Brooke seemed dejected. “That's fine. Whatever you're comfortable with.”

“Next time,” Michael reaffirmed. “I promise.” 

“That's cool. So what instead?”

Michael shrugged. “I was just-” he turned slightly. “Trying to go through my computer. It's, um, kinda hard, though. There's a lot of… pictures.”

Brooke grimaced. “Maybe hold off on that then.”

Michael nodded. “Yeah.”

“So let's do something else!”

Michael didn't really want to do anything. “Like what?”

“I dunno, teach me your favorite song or something?”

Michael laughed slightly. “My favorite song?”

“Yeah, teach it to me.”

Michael's smile twitched. “Actually, I haven't really been listening to music so much lately. My favorite song is one that was playing when he- when we-” he cut off, gaze snapping down to his lap. “Um, it was playing when we kissed for the first time?”

Brooke frowned. “Second favorite song?”

Michael was quiet. He shook his head.

“Any song?”

Michael didn't look up. “I said I haven't really been listening to music much lately.”

“...The ABCs?”

Michael shot her a look.

“Anything?”

“No, Brooke. Sorry.”

“That's fine. Uh, wanna play a game?”

Michael shrugged. “I, um, started replaying this really old game that I have? It was a single player, so it's not so bad. I got past level three!”

“Oh?” Video games never really interested Brooke, but she was willing to watch Michael play if it made him feel better. 

Michael nodded. “Yeah, so that's something.” He laughed slightly. “Before I could finish the whole game in three hours. Kinda stupid that I can't now huh?”

“You just need the groove back! Go on, play it!”

Michael sputtered slightly. “What, right now?”

“Yeah!”

Michael blinked. “You really want to watch me play a video game?”

“I will if it makes you happy, Mike.”

Michael smiled at her. “Thanks, Brooke. Really.”

“Show me how you do it!”

Michael laughed. “Okay, okay.”

\----- 1 year 

“Michael, you have to come out of there!” Christine's voice carried well from upstairs as she stormed down to the basement. 

Michael gritted his teeth. “I don't.”

“Come on, your moms are worried sick!” Knocking came through. 

Michael didn't move. “I don't care.”

“They said to tell you they're gonna call a therapist if you don't let me in.”

Michael scoffed. “The door’s open. I'm not going to a therapist.” He was sprawled out on his bed, staring vacantly at the ceiling. 

Christine came in. “You can be forced to go, you know. You're still on your parents’ health insurance.”

“Fuck that.” Michael grumbled. “They'll have to carry me.”

“They will.”

Michael didn't respond. “What do you want?”

“To make sure you aren't alone.”

“I am alone. I've been alone.” His voice dropped. “For so long.”

Christine tsked. “You've been doing better.”

Michael was quiet. “It's the anniversary.”

“It– Oh, Michael. Please take care of yourself. He wouldn't want you to be like this.”

Michael shuddered. “It's been a year. And you want to know what's worse? It's not _just_ the anniversary of him disappearing.” Michael sniffled. “It's also _our_ anniversary.”

Christine sighed. “I know. Which is why you need to be nice to yourself. Don't do this, Michael. He wouldn't want you to spend your anniversary like this.”

Michael's eyes fell closed. “He wouldn't want me to spend our anniversary without him. He used to say our anniversary was the day where I was legally bound to do nothing but shower him in attention.”

“Then shower yourself in attention. Spend the day with us, so you're not alone. We really don't want you to be alone like this.” Christine put her hand on Michael's bedpost. 

Michael hesitated. “Please, Christine. I can't today. Not today.”

“Today is when you should.”

Michael shook his head. “I _can't_.”

“You can!”

Michael sighed. “A whole year. Nothing. Not even a letter.”

“He would have if he could have. You know that.”

“I know.” Michael deflated further. “Which means he hasn't been able to. Which means he's either dead or completely under that thing's control. For a whole year without break.”

“You have that little faith in him?” Christine asked softly. 

“No!” Michael jolted, but cleared his throat and continued, softer this time. “You know that's not what I meant.”

“But it's kinda true. If you think about it.”

Michael made a noise. “Please leave me alone, Christine.”

“No.”

“Please!” Michael hadn't raised his voice in a while, but that had come out as more of a yell than a request. 

“No!” Christine yelled right back. 

Michael's breathing was picking up. “I can't, Christine!”

“Just sit up!”

“No!” Michael could feel himself shaking harshly.

“Michael! You're gonna panic yourself!”

Michael just whimpered, curling in on himself.

Christine was by his side instantly. “Deep breaths?”

Michael felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. “I- I want him back so b-bad,” he practically sobbed.

“I- I know. We do too. Can you count to a hundred?”

Michael curled tighter. “E-Every day I w-wake up I wait, h-hoping he’ll come back. But he never d-does and it hurts _so_ b-bad.” Michael cried harder. 

Christine was worried. “D-Do you need your moms? Can I touch you?”

Michael shook his head. “C-Chris, the day- the day he left, W-We had a d-date and I,” he shuddered again, voice broken. “I was g-gonna-” his words got stuck in his throat. He hesitated for a moment before holding his hand out to her, something clutched in it tightly.

“Gonna…?” Christine took the object. 

It was a ring box. Michael's voice was barely a whisper. “He n-never showed up to dinner.”

“I didn't know– Jesus, Michael. I'm so sorry.” She put the box back into Michael's hand, unopened. “You know he would have if he could. Just like now.”

Michael sobbed lightly. “I miss him.”

“I know you do. Just breathe.”

Michael sniffled harshly, but did as instructed. He held to ringbox close to his heart. “Please don't make me go out, Chris,” he pleaded. 

“A-At least drink some water?”

Michael reluctantly pushed himself up, taking a sip of his bottle of water on his bedside table.

“A little more?”

Michael drank a little more.

“Some more?”

Michael’s tears slowed a bit as he huffed in frustration, taking a long drink of the water.

“More?”

Michael finished off the bottle, tossing it aside. He looked to Christine for approval.

She smiled at him. “Good job.”

Michael gave a weak smile in return, but then it dropped. “Please don't make me go.”

Christine shook her head. “I won't.”

Michael nodded. “Thanks,” he murmured.

“Can I stay?”

“Yeah,” Michael muttered. “Okay.” 

“Thanks.”

\-------- 2 YEARS GD

Michael had finally begun reaching something akin to normality. He was eating properly, for the most part, and he could pretty much sleep through the nights now. He would only wake up crying once every couple weeks, which he could handle. He even got back into video games more and had managed to get through three of the latest EA releases. Not to mention he had finally started his college courses.

Like so many times before, there was a knock at the door. 

“Who is it?” Michael called.

“Jake!”

“Come in!”

Jake sauntered in with a pizza slice box in hand. “Sup?”

Michael shrugged. “Not much. Just finished my homework.” 

Jake nodded. “Yo, it’s good to see you out there doin that shit now.”

Michael laughed a bit. “Yeah. Did you go to Sbarro or something?” He gestured to the box.

“Yeah! Want some?”

Michael snorted. “No thanks. I got my own take out on the way home from school.”

“Cool, cool. So how’s being a freshie again? ‘S been a while for me.”

Michael shrugged. “It's okay, I guess. I’d always figured I would stay on campus but… y’know. I didn't really see a point in trying to make friends with some rando they assign as my roommate.”

“Totally dude. Strangers are dangers. Don't do drugs.” Jake threw himself onto Michael’s bed. 

Michael scoffed. “Jake, you showed up high last week.” 

“I’m a bad influence.”

“I know!”

Jake grinned. “That’s what makes me cool.”

Michael rolled his eyes, laughing. “Eat your pizza, Jacob.”

“Oh yeah, I am.” Jake shoved it in his mouth. 

Michael shook his head. “So, What's up? How's Rich?”

“Oh, he’s great. I mean, shaken, but great. We're going on a date tonight.” Jake wiggled his eyebrows. 

“Rich is always shaken.” Michael laughed. “What're your plans for the date? Anything special?”

“You know it! I think I'm gonna pop a certain question.”

Michael jolted slightly. “Oh yeah?”

“It's been long enough right?”

Michael nodded. “Definitely! You love him and you want to be with him forever, so it's fine!”

“Yeah?”

“Totally!” Michael's heart hurt.

“So you give me your blessing?”

“I mean, yeah, but it's not like you need it. I'm not Rich's dad or anything.”

“Mike, you’re all of our dads.”

“Thanks.”

“So yes?”

“Yeah, Jake. You should totally go for it.” 

Jake’s grin grew. “Will he say yes?”

“Totally!”

“Thank fuck! I’ve waited way too long!”

Michael laughed. “I'm happy for you, Jake.”

Jake shoved some more pizza into his mouth. “Really?”

Michael nodded. “Yeah.”

“Thanks!”

Michael nodded again. “Call me after and tell me how it goes?”

Jake laughed. “Of course, dude! We're bros! If it goes well maybe we'll Skype you!”

Michael smiled. “I'd like that.”

Jake jolted. “Shit, I gotta go!”

Michael straightened up. “Good luck!”

“Thanks dude! Eat some of that cake I passed in your kitchen for me!”

“I will.”

\----- 2 year 7 month

Desperate knocking echoed through Michael's room. 

Michael called from where he was perched on his bed. “Jake, I don't want to hear another engaged sex story, I don't care how good it was.”

The knocking picked up. 

Michael huffed, getting to his feet. He strided over to the door, pulling it open. “Jake-”

Jeremy stood at the door, soaking wet.

Michael stood gaping, eyes wide. After a moment he stumbled back, breathing hard. “You–”

Jeremy was panting and shivering. “Michael?”

Michael was still breathing hard, staring like he'd seen a ghost. His face was pale. 

Jeremy's voice was broken. “L-Let me in?”

Michael was borderline hyperventilating. “You- I-” he was crying. “This can't be real.”

“Wh-What?”

“You're not real!”

“I'm not?!”

Michael's fingers were yanking at his hair harshly. “You c-can't be,” he cried, curling in on himself.

“ _Please_ let me in, Michael, I'm wet.”

Michael passed out. 

\-----------

Jeremy kept slapping Michael's face. 

Michael jolted, eyes snapping open. “What the fuck!”

“You passed out!” Jeremy cried.

Michael's eyes locked on Jeremy's face. He froze.

Jeremy was nearly panicking. “Are you okay?!”

Michael suddenly grabbed him, pulling him into a desperate hug.

Jeremy was freezing and soaked, but hugged him back with all the strength he still had. 

Michael was crying hard, his face buried in Jeremy's neck. “I-Is it really you?”

“I-I’m Jeremy?” he offered. 

“Oh god,” Michael whimpered, squeezing him hard. He felt like he would disappear. 

“I- I got out, Mikey,” Jeremy whispered. “I came as soon as I could.”

“I th-thought I would never see you again,” Michael whispered hoarsely. “It’s been s-so long.”

“O-Only five days, like Rich.”

Michael stiffened. “Five days,” he muttered. “Jeremy, It's been two fucking _years_.”

“Wh- No. I counted!” Jeremy felt his eyes watering. “I counted the days!”

Michael had tears streaming down his face. “Two years, seven months, and twelve days, Jeremy.”

“No!”

Michael just cried harder.

“M-Mike, I can't handle this right now, P-Please tell me what you're talking about.”

“You've been missing for two years, Jeremy! That's what it fucking means!”

“It hasn't been two years! I counted five days! I just got out! We were supposed to have a date Friday night!”

Michael pushed away from the hug, aggressively rubbing his nose as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He held it up to Jeremy's face, showing him the date.

Jeremy passed out. 

Michael screeched. 

\--------

Jeremy jolted awake after twenty minutes. 

Michael was instantly on him. “Jeremy!”

“Michael?!”

Michael pulled him into a deep kiss.

“Mmph?”

Michael pulled away. “Shut the fuck up and kiss me, okay?”

Jeremy couldn't argue with that. He pulled Michael back down and kissed him hard. 

Michael poured in about two years of emotions. 

Jeremy felt too weak to kiss him the same way, but he kept their lips connected.

Michael didn't care when he started crying again. “God, I love you.”

“I-I'm really confused.”

“I've missed you so fucking much.” Michael didn't want to let him out of his sight.

“C-Can you just hold me for a minute?” Jeremy asked. “Please?”

Michael squeezed him close. “I’m never letting you go again.”

“I-I'm really cold. And tired.”

“I think I'm in shock,” Michael admitted. “Also I don't think I’ll stop crying for a couple days.”

“Just hold me.”

Michael buried his face in Jeremy's hair. “Where were you?” He whispered.

“Just hold me,” Jeremy repeated. 

Michael figured talking could wait. He just held Jeremy close and cried into his hair.

\-------

Jeremy had fallen asleep after three hours. 

Michael had lifted him up, laying him down in the bed. He'd checked for any injuries or scars and after finding none, sent out a quick text to everyone. He told them not to come over. He had climbed into the bed with him, holding him as he slept. He didn't want to take his eyes off of him.

Jeremy had stopped shivering, mostly dry now. He stirred a little. 

Michael ran his fingers through Jeremy's hair. “Hey,” he murmured.

“Mikey?” Jeremy whispered. 

“Hey,” Michael greeted again. “Hey there.”

Jeremy cuddled up to him. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Michael smiled. “I love you.”

Jeremy hummed. “Love you too babe.” He yawned. 

Michael kissed his forehead. “God, I love you.”

“I know. Wha’s goin’ on?”

“I love you.”

“G-Glad to be back.”

“I'm so fucking glad you're back.”

“Longest five days of my life.”

Michael's smile wavered. “Two years.”

“Yeah, felt like that, huh?”

Michael shook his head. “Jeremy, I showed you the date, remember?”

“Huh?” Jeremy blinked wearily. “Oh– But _no_.”

Michael frowned. “Jeremy, this is serious.”

“I-I feel sick-“

“Deep breaths. I'm here.”

“You look older,” Jeremy whispered. 

Michael smiled sadly. “I am older.” He ghosted his fingers over Jeremy's cheek. “You look beautiful.” He paused. “Your acne is gone?”

“What?” Jeremy threw a hand to his face. “What the fuck?”

Michael smiled, but his eyes were sad. “And your hair is longer.”

“H-How– But I swear it’s only been five days, Michael! I counted! It felt like agony without you, but I counted!”

Michael felt his eyes welling up again, and his voice was barely a whisper. “I know how long it's been, Jeremy.” He turned on the bed to face the bed frame, gesturing to the tally marks he had scratched into it. “I know how long it's been.”

Jeremy gasped. “B-But it doesn’t make sense, Micah,” he whispered. 

“But it's reality.” Michael sniffled, shaking lightly. “I've missed you for so long.”

Tears fell down Jeremy’s cheeks again. “D-Did you move on?”

“No.” Michael shook his head. “I could never let you go, Jere.”

“Why not? T-Two years is a really long time, I– Shit, I’ve been gone two years?!” The shock had gotten to him. 

Michael looked down. “Because I love you. Because I wanted to spend my life with you. _Want_ to spend my life with you. Two years is a long time, but not nearly enough to make me get over you.”

“Wh-What about my dad?! And the others?! Was I– Did you have a funeral for me?! Why don’t I remember anything?!” Jeremy was breathing hard. 

Michael pulled Jeremy closer against himself. “Hey, calm down, love. Your dad is fine. I visit him once a week.” He smiled slightly. “He likes to play backgammon now. Last year it was chess, but I kept beating him so now he doesn't like it.” Michael took a short breath. “No funeral. No one was willing to believe you were dead.” Michael was quiet for a second. “Rich and Jake got engaged seven months ago.”

Jeremy nearly smiled at the bit about his dad, but his eyes widened by the end. “Engaged?!”

Michael nodded. “The wedding is in two months.”

“Seriously?! Wow!”

Michael nodded, running his fingers through Jeremy's hair again.

Jeremy calmed down a little. “Please hold me again. I-I can’t remember anything, Michael, I’m scared.”

Michael’s arms were around him in a second. “What do you remember? You said you counted five days, right? That must mean you were partially coherent for at least a little while.”

“I-I mean– There was a pill, a-and a house, and I think he– it– it shocked me?” Jeremy’s eyes were watering again. “I-I don’t wanna talk about it, Mikey.”

Michael kissed his forehead. “Okay. Then we don't have to talk about it right now.”

“I don’t know what it made me do…”

“It's okay. I'm here, and I’m never letting you go again.”

Jeremy looked down. “T-These aren’t my clothes.”

Michael reached down, tugging Jeremy's shirt up over his head and tossing it away. “Doesn't matter anymore.”

“I didn’t like Eminem anyway,” Jeremy whispered, clutching Michael tightly. 

“I love you,” Michael murmured.

“You too, Mikey. I-I missed you so much.”

“God, I missed you.”

“Don’t let me go.”

“Never.”

“It's c-cold.”

“Take off your wet clothes? You can wear some of mine.”

Jeremy nodded and tried weakly to push his pants off. 

Michael ran his fingers over Jeremy's chest. “Do you want some help, love?”

Jeremy gulped and nodded. “I-I feel numb. And cold.”

“It's okay.” Michael helped Jeremy out of his clothes, grabbing a discarded shirt and pair of sweatpants off the floor. He helped him pull them on and then pulled him close once again, tugging the blankets up over them. “Better?”

Jeremy nodded. “I haven’t smelled this in ages.”

Michael pressed his nose into Jeremy's hair. “I know what you mean.”

“I-I need to get to my dad, but– I can’t leave this.”

“Please don't leave me yet,” Michael murmured. “I'll come with you, just please don't leave me again.”

Jeremy nodded. “I-I didn’t mean to leave you, I-I’m so sorry, Michael.”

“I know,” Michael murmured. “Just please. Stay.”

Jeremy had begun shaking again. “I-I didn’t want to leave you! I didn’t mean to! I’m so sorry!”

Michael squeezed him. “It's okay, love,” he soothed. He ran his fingers over his sides gently. “Deep breaths. It's okay. I forgive you. I love you.”

Breathing wasn’t enough. Jeremy’s eyes watered up again. “You should hate me! I was gone two years! I–I– The things it made me do, I–”

Michael shushed him gently, voice soft. “Nothing will ever make me hate you. I don't care what it did.”

“T-This isn’t real,” Jeremy whispered. “Get out of my head.”

Michael blinked. “Huh?”

Jeremy curled in on himself. “S-Stop showing me him!”

Michael's heart twisted. “Jeremy, It's me! I'm real!” He took Jeremy's hand and placed it over his heart. “I'm Michael.”

Jeremy had tears down his cheeks. “You’re not him!”

“I am!” Michael was close to tears himself. “Please!”

Jeremy’s eyes were squeezed shut. “Please just let me see him for real! O-One time! I’ll do whatever you want!”

Michael sniffled. “Jeremy, it's me. I've waited two years and seven months to see you again. The day you disappeared we had a dinner date where I planned to propose and you never showed. Your favorite color is blue and your favorite animal is a seahorse and we started dating on the third day of senior year. Please.”

Jeremy was trembling. He took in the information slowly. “I-I didn’t mean to disappear,” he whimpered. “A-And you’re in my head, you k- You know I was going to p-propose that night, not him!”

Michael's tears spilled over his cheeks. “You were going to what?” He breathed.

Jeremy’s body wracked with sudden sobs. He knew none of this could be real. It was all just a lie to get him to follow orders next time. Just like before. So he didn’t need to answer. “Get out of my head!”

Michael's breathing was uneven as his crying picked up as well. He sat up, reaching into his bedside table and pulling out the ring box. He pressed it into Jeremy's hand. “I was gonna p-propose, Jeremy. P-Please!”

Jeremy’s eyes cracked open a smidge. “Y-You couldn’t even simulate a different ring than the one I had?! That’s– Just let me out!” He clutched his head. 

Michael had never been so confused. “Jeremy,” he whimpered. He tilted his chin up, pulling him into a kiss. “Please. Please come back to me. I'm right here.”

Jeremy’s shaking changed, more nervous than frantic. “M-Michael?”

“Jeremy,” Michael cried. “It's me, I'm here, please. Come back, please,” he pressed desperate kisses across Jeremy's face. “Please.”

“I-It’s really you?”

“Yes, love, please, come back.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Jeremy whispered. 

Michael sniffled harshly. “I love you, I love you so much.”

“I thought you weren’t r-real.”

“I'm here,” Michael breathed. He continued kissing any skin he could reach.

“I’m so sorry,” Jeremy repeated. 

“It's okay.” Michael soothed. 

“Y-You’re really here..?” 

Michael nodded. “I'm really here.”

Jeremy threw his arms around him. 

Michael accepted it gratefully, holding Jeremy tight. “I love you.”

“Mikey, it– it showed me you, sometimes, I- I couldn’t be sure you were real.”

Michael kissed his shoulder. “It's alright now.” He was quiet for a second. “You were gonna propose?”

Jeremy froze. “...You were too?”

“Yeah.” 

“...It’s the same ring I got for you.”

Michael couldn't help but laugh. “Jesus.”

Jeremy gulped. “It, um– I got it taken away. He– It got destroyed, I think. I don’t remember.”

Michael shook his head. “It's Alright. It doesn't matter anymore. You're here and that's what's important.”

Jeremy buried his face in the closest warmth it could find. “I got out,” he whispered. 

“Thank God. I'm so proud of you.”

“It– Is it gonna look for me?”

“I won't let lt take you away again.”

“T-Two years, huh?” Jeremy's voice was broken. 

“Yeah,” Michael breathed. “It was hell.”

Jeremy nodded. “It was.”

Michael held Jeremy close. “I love you.”

“A-Are you gonna make me talk to the police?”

Michael was quiet for a bit. “Not if you don't want to.”

“My dad will…”

“I'll talk to him.” Michael kissed him. “You don't have to do anything you don't want.”

“But they gotta know, don't they?”

“Fuck them.”

“I’d rather not.”

Michael laughed. “God, I love you.”

“Just hold me, Mikey, please.”

Michael did. Gladly. 

\----- 

Jeremy woke up crying. 

Michael stirred. “Jere?” He woke up properly when he noticed the tears. “Jeremy what's wrong?”

Jeremy sniffled. “Wh-Why can't I remember much?”

Michael sat up, clicking on the lamp on his bedside table. “Because it was controlling you.”

“I-I don't like that. I missed so much. You have _facial hair_. I-I don't deserve to be back.”

Michael's heart twisted and his eyes welled up instantly. “Please don't say that. Please don't leave me. I can't survive you leaving again, please, Jeremy. I need you.”

“I didn't mean to leave,” Jeremy whispered. 

“I know,” Michael sniffled. “But please. Don't say you shouldn't be back.”

“I missed you get two years older! And Rich and Jake getting engaged! And probably countless other things! I wanted to be married by now! With a little apartment and a puppy!”

Michael rubbed at his eyes. “We can have that! We can get married right now, I don't care, I love you. We can go find an apartment and adopt a dog and be together.” Michael grabbed Jeremy's hands. 

“B-But I’m mentally two years behind.”

“I don't care.” He didn't. “We can make up for lost time.”

“I-Is that possible?”

“Who cares? We'll make it possible.” Michael pulled him into a kiss.

Jeremy kissed him sadly. “I'm really scared, Michael.”

“I'm right here with you. No matter what.”

“Please don't let me go.”

“I won't,” he promised.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Michael kissed him again.

“C-Can we call my dad soon?”

Michael nodded. “Whenever you want.”

“He needs to know…”

“Yeah.” Michael smiled sadly. “It's gonna be hard.”

“I-It was hard to get here,” Jeremy said. “I thought maybe I just shouldn't show up.”

“God, I'm glad you did.”

“M-Me too.”

Michael nuzzled his neck.

“S-So you still wanna marry me right?”

“More than anything.”

“To-Tomorrow?”

Michael perked up. “You want to get married tomorrow?”

“ _Please_.”

“Yes!” Michael practically shouted. “God yes!”

Jeremy smiled. “Perfect. Then coming back will be worth it.”

“I love you!”

“I-I love you too. Do you have any Mac and cheese? I-I don't think I've had any in two years.”

Michael laughed happily. “I will make you five boxes of macaroni right now.”

“Really?!”

“Absolutely!”

“You have five?!”

“Yeah!”

“Can I have them?”

“Yes!”

“Like, now?”

“Yes, but only if you kiss me first.”

Jeremy kissed him hard. 

Michael's fingers wound in his hair, pressing back just as hard.

Jeremy poured every bit of fear and relief into that kiss. 

Michael shifted slightly on top of him, pressing into him. 

Jeremy let himself relax the best he could, a stray tear rolling down his cheek. 

Michael eventually pulled away to breathe. “Good?”

Jeremy nodded, sad to see the end of it. “D-Don’t be too long, please?”

Michael hummed. “D'ya wanna come up with me? I'll carry you.”

Jeremy’s eyes lit up, but were still sad. “Please?”

Michael kissed him again. “Anything for you.” “I-I don’t wanna be alone again.”

“I don't want you to be alone either.” Michael promised, getting to his feet. He lifted Jeremy up into his arms. It was so much easier to carry him than he remembered.

Jeremy wrapped his arms around Michael. “Did you get stronger?”

Michael hummed. “I work out like once every two weeks. Jake makes me do it. 'Bonding’ he says. I know it's just to get me out of the house.”

“I-I can’t believe I’ve even been gone two weeks,” Jeremy whispered. “You got abs yet?”

Michael hummed. “Nah. Not really.”

“Bummer.”

Michael hummed again. “I said not really. That's not a full no. I may have shaped up a bit.”

“Can I see?”

“If you want,” Michael purred. Once they were in the kitchen, Michael set Jeremy down on the counter.

Jeremy’s eyes wandered. “I missed this place,” he said. “So much.”

“I missed you.” Michael stole a kiss.

Jeremy shook the upsetting thoughts from his head. “C-Can we focus on now?”

Michael nodded “Of course.” He smiled. “If you wanna scope out the free real estate of my body you gotta undress me yourself.””

“Jeez, you haven’t changed.” Jeremy tugged at Michael’s shirt. “Don’t forget my macaroni.” 

Michael laughed, lifting his arms to allow Jeremy to pull his shirt off. “Wouldn't dream of it.”

Jeremy tossed the fabric aside. “Still beautiful.” His voice was sad, but he refused to dwell on it. 

“Not as beautiful as you.” Michael's hand came up to Jeremy's cheek. 

“Oh hush.” Jeremy’s hand covered Michael’s. 

“Never,” Michael grinned, leaning in close.

Jeremy’s other hand rested on Michael’s chest. “Kiss me?”

Michael didn't have to be asked twice. His lips were on Jeremy's in a second.

Jeremy didn’t let it last long. “Macaroni me for more. That was your free trial.”

Michael laughed, pressing a kiss to Jeremy's forehead. “God, I love you.” He reluctantly pulled away to retrieve the macaroni.

“You too, Mikey,” Jeremy said quietly. 

Michael hummed softly to himself as he cooked, occasionally smiling up at Jeremy.

Jeremy watched in bliss. It felt so domestic. He really wanted this forever. 

Once the food was done Michael scooped some into a bowl, handing it over. 

Jeremy instantly got to work eating it, as if he’d been starved. 

Michael propped his chin up on his hand. “Good?”

Jeremy nodded, not taking a breath to speak so he wouldn’t miss any noodles. 

Michael laughed slightly. “Slow down, they're not going anywhere.”

“You won’t take them away?” Jeremy whispered.

Michael's smile faltered. “What?”

Jeremy’s brows furrowed, like he was trying to remember something. “I-I dunno, I just felt like you’d– I dunno.”

Michael shook his head. “I made it for you, Jere. I'm not going to take it away.”

“I-I just feel like you will.”

“I promise I won't.” Michael frowned slightly.

Jeremy eyed him and held his bowl tightly. “O-Okay…”

Michael pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I swear. You can eat as much as you want.”

“No time limit?” Jeremy asked. 

Michael shook his head. “No. Take as long as you need, love.” Michael knew that it was probably something the Squip did. It made him feel sick.

Jeremy continued eating, slower this time. He didn’t know what was wrong with him, so he decided to worry about it later. 

Michael perched himself on the counter beside Jeremy, leaning his head on his shoulder.

“Mikey?”

“Hm?”

“Just, um, thanks.”

“Of course,” Michael smiled, kissing his cheek. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Jeremy whispered. 

“Now eat as much as you want. I made all five boxes for you.”

“R-Right. For me.” Jeremy kept eating. 

“You don't have to eat it all now, of course. But you can if you want.”

“‘M wingin’ it,” Jeremy said softly. 

Michael kissed his cheek. 

Jeremy looked up at him. “Where’re your moms?”

Michael shrugged. “Working. I, um… I've been saving up for an apartment? I was gonna give like a years rent in advance, so I didn't have to worry about it, but um, I've had a lot more time to save up. I was gonna… ask you to move in with me. And if you said yes.. I was gonna ask you to marry me.” He laughed slightly. “Which, thinking about it, Is kinda weird. I probably should've asked you to move in way sooner.”

Jeremy put the bowl down. “Well, go on. Ask me now.”

Michael smiled. “Move in with me? I have three years rent.”

Jeremy nodded instantly. “Of course I’ll move in with you, Micah. We’re getting married tomorrow.”

Michael giggled. “God, it's amazing.”

“J-Just being back is amazing.”

Michael nodded.

“I-Is it wrong of me to wanna get married before I see my dad?”

Michael shook his head. “I got his blessing already, if that helps.”

“You did? That’s sweet.” Jeremy leaned into Michael. 

Michael chuckled. “I wanted to do it right, y’know?”

“We will. But, um, I don’t have any of my own clothes.”

“It's okay. I'll take you shopping.”

Jeremy’s eyes darkened. “I-I don’t know if I want to, um, go out in public.”

Michael nodded. “Okay. We don't have to do that, then.” Michael paused to think. “How about we sneak into your house and see if we can't find something for you to wear?”

“My clothes are still there..?”

Michael nodded. “Just as you left it.” He clear his throat. “Except the bed. I may have spent a bit of… time. In your bed.” he laughed slightly. “Or every other night for a year.”

Jeremy felt something catch in his throat. “M-Micah, I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I-I didn’t mean to leave you.”

“It's okay.” Michael reassured. “But, uh, it doesn't quite smell like you so much anymore. I'm afraid I may have tainted it.”

Jeremy shook his head. “Y-You’re my favorite smell anyway.”

Michael blushed, chuckling. “I love you.”

Jeremy put his arm around Michael. “You’re still perfect.”

“So are you.” Michael leaned into his touch.

Jeremy almost flinched. “N-No, I think I’m broken.”

“We're all a little broken, Jeremy. Some more than others. That doesn't make you worth anything less.”

Jeremy was quiet for a moment. “Do I even deserve a second chance with you?”

“You deserve _so much more_ than me.”

“No!” Jeremy nearly yelled. 

Michael kissed Jeremy's shoulder. “It's true. You deserve the world.”

“You’re my world!”

Michael smiled softly. “Then I'm glad you'll have me.”

“I-I’m glad you didn’t get over me.”

“Never.”

“I think you’re my heaven, Mikey.”

“And you're mine.” 

“Thank god.”

Michael kissed him sweetly.

Jeremy weakly kissed him back. 

“The love of my life.”

“You’re the love of mine, Micah. You didn’t give up on me.”

Michael shook his head. “Never.”

Jeremy took a breath. “Hold me some more?”

Michael nodded. “Of course.”

“I love you,” Jeremy whispered.

“I love you too.”


End file.
